I'd like to wish you all a Happy New Year. I hope the Holiday Season was good for you. We had a nice, relatively quiet Christmas and New Year, and I'm grateful for that. It's winter here in Phoenix - even feels a little like winter right now, with the cooler temperatures.
One thing that's always difficult for many people at the holidays and throughout the year is dealing with stress. Stress - our old friend. There can be many external things - like holiday traffic, crowded stores and parking lots that stress us out. However, most of the time stress is exacerbated by our own internal reactions to the pressures of life or just life around us.
One tool in the toolbag of life that can help with cultivate serenity is the Serenity Prayer. It goes like this: God, grant me the Serenity to accept the things I cannot change, Courage to change the things I can, and Wisdom to know the difference.
This little prayer can really be quite helpful. There was a time when I was struggling and prayed this prayer many times a day. Unfortunately, I didn't always know that I could accept the things I couldn't change - or how to accept that. The word acceptance almost had a negative connotation to me...I had no idea.
One example - changing other people. I cannot change another person, no matter how hard I try. I can have personal boundaries, and I can take an action if someone crosses those, but I will not change someone else. Here's one I like; holiday chaos and traffic. I have now power over any of it. However, if I'm going to participate and enjoy the wonderful season there are things I can do when I'm in the thick of it. I can take a deep breath and accept that I'm not going to change it. I can practice acceptance, say the serenity prayer, and practice a little patience. I can be in and enjoying the moment with gratitude. Practicing those can make a huge difference in your day.
Sometimes there are changes that need to be made and Wisdom and Courage are necessary. When I pray to God for these (with the Serenity Prayer), I get a sense of calm and clarity. Prayer works. Knowing what's mine to change and what I need to leave alone can be an enormous relief.
I find this extremely helpful in my relationships. Whether at work, at home, with relatives, or even social media contacts - we can find it frustrating to deal with certain people. There are always things we disagree on and we may strongly feel we're right...but, sometimes we can come back to this prayer. God...grant me Serenity. Perhaps, acceptance is key - not changing the other? We need wisdom and courage also....and with the help of God, we can sort all of this out.
I found that my loss of serenity in the past (and of course now sometimes), is really an "inside job." But, using the tools like the Serenity Prayer, practicing acceptance, watching my expectations of others, reminding myself to be grateful and in present moment, and others; all help me to stay in a calm and serene place on the inside.
Other times - action is called for. But - with the help of my Higher Power - and the tools I've listed - I can calmly and courageously take action - and not jump into a huge over-reaction. Taking action in this manner is not always easy, but say the serenity prayer, or whatever prayer you like - and move forward with some calm and grace and deal with the situation in a much better way.
Now - I won't tell you I'm always perfect with all of this, but things are better than they used to be. The more I use some of these tools (with grace and humility) - the more peace, serenity, and happiness I have in my life.
I wish for all of you a very wonderful 2015. Enjoy it with gratitude and love for yourself and all of those around you. Enjoy each and every moment.
Peace,
Tom
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