Merry Christmas, Happy Holiday, Seasons Greetings....etc, etc.... I hope you're enjoying the Holiday Season, whatever you celebrate. We've had a nice little taste of winter here in Phoenix, AZ this year. It's been on the cool side - and I'm loving it. I hope wherever you are, things are going well.
I got up early this morning and was doing a few things around the house, before going in to work with a client. It was peaceful and quiet, and my thoughts turned to the expectations and attachments that we can sometimes have around the holidays. Those are two things that can be a huge trap for resentments and disappointment during what should be a festive season of joy. Because I've fallen into this trap before, (several times), I thought it might be a timely topic for the blog.
When we're kids, so often we had expectations of Santa Clause, friends and relatives bringing toys and gifts for us. When I was growing up, we had a routine - Christmas Eve we went to church and while gone, Santa came and delivered presents. After church we had treats, opened gifts, enjoyed family, and had a great time. Expectations met, right? What if we were really attached to recieving a certain special gift - and didn't get it? If we got it, what if it didn't live up to the hype? What if it got broken shortly after recieving it? Sometimes the disappointment could be pretty big.
As adults we can have expectations and attachments that set us up for disappointment also. These expectations may not even seem unreasonable. However - are we attached to them so much that when things change we have a resentment? It's a trap, and especially easy to fall into during this season of peace and love.
Here are some examples many of us can relate to. We may make plans with friends and relatives and excitedly look forward to them... then, they cancel. We may be counting on a particular special gift from someone near and dear...and they don't deliver. Are we attached sometimes to Holiday traditions going off in a particular fashion...but then they just doesn't measure up to past celebrations? These can be a sure fire way to become sad, angry or even resentful. It's happened to me before, (more than once), and probably has happened to a lot of us.
So this Holiday Season, I'll be celebrating Christmas with my family as usual. Sue and I go to church on Christmas Eve, exchange gifts with the family Christmas morn and enjoy other festivities. There are things I need to do to keep my expectations and attachments in check, so I can just enjoy the season. The first thing is obvious - take a look at myself. Am I attached to people, places, things, events? Do I have expectations for any of these? If so, who or what am I judging? What I need to do is release these; let these go. When I do, I release myself from them.
When I'm in the middle of the Holidays what can I do to stay centered and feeling good? For me, I find I need to remain flexible. I find that I need to go with the flow. This means not being rigid or attached to things going my way. Things change and sometimes they don't go the way we want them to. Relax, take a deep breath and just enjoy the ride. For me, so many times situations like that turn out better than my expected agenda.
The last thing is, remember to fill your heart with gratitude. There's always something to be grateful for. A quick prayer of gratitude or carrying an attitude of gratitude with me always makes me feel good. It just seems to work that way. It's been said, nothing changes the energy of a situation like gratitude. I find that true in my own life.
Enjoy the Holidays. I hope you find joy and peace and happiness this Season of Celebration. Take a little time to be grateful and enjoy those around you. While you're celebrating, remember to keep an eye on how you're feeling. If you start to feel a little out of sorts...perhaps you might take a look at any expectations you're having, or are you attached to anything? Regardless of the details - you may just have the best Christmas (or other Holidays), ever.
Enjoy.
Peace and Love,
Tom
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